From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets,
the name of the Lord is to be praised. ~ Psalm 113:3
I’ve discovered that worship is not my natural forte. I’ll give you an example. It’s Sunday and I’m in church. I’ve settled my belongings around me, scanned the bulletin for interesting tidbits of information and am now people-watching. The band starts to play quietly and the worship leader calls us to stand and prepare to praise God. The opening bars of the first song are peppy and engaging and people start to clap to the beat. It seems churlish not to join in, so I clap too and try to stir up some enthusiasm.
Oh-oh – the song leader sings in the tenor range and I find it so difficult to wrap my alto voice around his key signature. I try to pick out the harmony line and, once I’ve found it, start to wonder if I’m singing off key. Will the people in front of me hear my sour notes? On the next song, I try to focus less on my voice and more on thoughts of God. This song is a favourite of many and people clap, sway and raise their hands, reaching up to acknowledge God’s greatness. I lift my arms too, but wonder, “Am I just doing this because everyone else is?”
The man across the aisle is yelling, “Praise Jesus!” every few seconds and, after valiantly suppressing my annoyance at this distraction, my next thought is: “Why can’t I get as excited as he does about praising God? Lord, help me to worship you in spirit and in truth.” We start to sing the contemporary hymn, In Christ Alone, and the words, so beautifully true, edge past my intellect and find a tender spot in my heart.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My comforter, my All in All,
Here in the love of Christ I stand.*
I ask God to forgive all the red herring thoughts that entice my mind away from Him during worship times and then thank him for the steady stream of love and grace he pours out on me through Christ. Sudden tears well up and a wave of something akin to joy washes over me. I know in my head that God is with us all the time, but now I experience His presence and it fills some empty, needy part of me that cries out like a hungry baby bird. For the next few songs, I bask in this sense of communion with God.
And then there’s a bit of a lull and I think, “I wonder if we’ll go for coffee after the service today? I’m hungry.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Worship: the crown and centre of the Christian life and foundational to the relationship between God and his people. And I have a problem with it. It isn’t the concept of worship that bothers me, nor do I have an argument with the way in which various church groups express it. As you may have guessed by now, I struggle with an inability to completely engage in it. God is right there in our midst and yet it is clear that I am obsessed with myself and my concerns when I’m supposed to be worshipping him. The harder I try to do as that old chestnut of a chorus suggests and “forget about myself and concentrate on him and worship him,” the more distracted I become. I can lose myself for hours in a book or a good movie, so why is it so difficult to concentrate for more than a song or two on God, who is so much more real than those things?
Case in point: The other day, I was watching a concert video on YouTube. I enjoy the music of a band called Mumford and Sons, who have become immensely popular recently. They are passionate about what they do, which comes through in their performances. I haven’t seen the band perform live, but looking at concert videos is the next best thing. As I watched the following video clip, I was struck by the relationship between the audience and the band. If you’d like, you can click on this link and see for yourself: http://www.mumfordandsons.com/news/i-will-wait-video
If
you can’t watch the video on your computer or device, I’ll describe it. The
audience is swaying and singing along. A huge proportion of them have their
hands raised high (possibly because “raise your hands” is one of the song
lyrics) and they look happy. I can sense the unity in that place, as both
audience and musicians revel together in the music. If I’d been there, I’d have
been bopping right along with the rest of them, mind focused steadily on the
here and now of the concert experience.
Mumford and Sons in performance
For
most of us, there is something about music that touches our souls and calls
forth our deepest responses and emotions. Victor Hugo once wrote, “Music expresses that which cannot be said
and on which it is impossible to be silent.” It speaks of what is in our hearts.
I think that the desire to be moved in this way and to share that experience
with others is part of being a human being, created in the image of God. Throughout
the Bible, music is intrinsic to communication between the Lord and his
people. God makes it clear through the
prophets and psalmists that we are to celebrate and worship Him with music and
song. Not only that, he rejoices over us with singing as well (Zephaniah 3:17).
Perhaps
that is one reason the concert experience is so intense. It resounds with faint
echoes of that design. If I arrive at a concert venue knowing and expecting to
enjoy the performers, it doesn’t take long to settle in and become involved
with the music, especially if the musicians are enjoying themselves too. Why
then, is it so much harder for me to enter authentically into the spirit of a
worship service? I know Jesus and always enjoy his presence, so that isn’t the
problem.
Having
rolled the dilemma around in my mind for awhile, I’m thinking it has to do with
the nature of reality. There is the world that we all experience with our
physical senses and minds, but there is another realm that Jesus calls the
Kingdom of God. We access that world through our relationship with Christ. The
thing is, we don’t automatically engage with that reality in the same way we do
with the natural world.
Jesus
taught that his Kingdom was right there among the people, but they had to
understand how to recognize it. I think it’s the same for us today. Jesus said
that we cannot enter his Kingdom with our physical bodies. Instead, we have to
become like little children – humble, teachable and willing to acknowledge how
much higher God’s thoughts and ways are than our own. As we remind ourselves of
these things, I think that our own spirits connect with God’s Spirit and we
“wake up” to his presence. We start to worship him in spirit and in truth (John
4:24).
So,
when I struggle to focus on worshipping God during the praise singing, it might
be good to remind myself that the way into the courts of his presence is a bit
more complicated than singing, clapping, kneeling or raising my hands. My
spirit needs God’s Spirit to give it a little shake on the shoulder to rouse
it. Wake up, little one; wake up.
A Morning Litany
Oh Lord, I wait for you in the morning;
my heart is quiet within me.
My heart, O God, is steadfast,
my heart is steadfast
Wake up, my soul; wake up!
I will sing and make music.
Awake, my soul!
Awake, harp and lyre!
I will awaken the dawn
My spirit longs for you; my soul thirsts for the living God.
I will praise you, Lord, among the nations;
I will sing of you among the peoples.
Awake, my soul, awake!
_______________________________________
*In Christ Alone,
Stuart Townend, Keith Getty
Morning Litany: Words in
italics taken from Psalm 57
Photo credits:
Sunrise and gull:http://www.flickr.com/photos/wallace39/5933313665/
